Top Three Issues Impacting Students

Quick, what are the top three issues most impacting young people today. 

I had the privilege of being part of an Interview Team and that question was posed to the candidates.

I would have loved to engage in a conversation with the candidates regarding their choices, but being an interview and all, there was no time for that.  (Perhaps we need to change the way we go about interviewing. I am thinking it should be more conversational, instead of buzz words and sound bites).

This question has stuck with me and I would be interested in your perspective and feedback. I wish I could have had a meaningful conversation with the candidates and then asked them to express their ideas on how to promote positive change to these issues.

Here are my top three--

Stress. Or maybe you call it Worry or Anxiety.  More and more I think it is a chronic state of being for young people.  To be sure, chronic stress does a lot of damage to one's mental state and physical well-being. Here is a recent study on Stress by the American Psychological Association. While this focus is on young adults, I find it to be true for children.
 

Social Connectedness. I think there is a lack of it for some of our young people.  Inherently we have a need for a sense of belonging and, yet, that is something that is missing from so many lives. How many students do not feel a connection with their teacher?  How many families have a sit-down meal together?  How many kids do not know how to engage in play?  How many are being intentionally/unintentionally excluded socially? In general, is there a genuine connection being made that is lasting and meaningful?

Thinking. By that, I mean knowing what to do when you do not know what to do. I am a big believer that we all need Alone Time/Quiet Time. I have found that time without constraints can provide ample space for reflection, helps you regulate your behavior, and reaps the benefit of problem solving and figuring out what to do when you do not know what to do.

I imagine your top three issues will vary depending on your student demographics and school culture/climate.  That's why I want to hear from you.  Please leave a Comment.  Or write your own post about it, but be sure to leave a link here in the comment section.

Come to think of it, maybe I'll ask students what their Top Three Issues are which impact them...

School Counseling Linky Party

 

I am a bit late to this, but here I am nonetheless.  Marissa Rex has an ever resourceful counseling blog, Elementary School Counseling.  Only go there when you have plenty of time as there is alot of stuff you'll want to use in your own work with young people.

She is hosting a Linky Party, where anyone gets to reflect on their own blog from the past year. It is a fun way to reflect on 2012 and gear up for 2013.


 





My best feature is Set Your Intentions.  Simply stated, it is quotes which inspire me.  I put them out there to share with you with hopes that they provide motivation for you. Here is my very first one- Watering Your Dreams.




For me, this post encapsulates so much of what I value-- a growth mindset, the process of change, and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable-- Learning is a Leap of Faith.  The girl in this video is awesome!


 

Most of what I write evolves over a lengthy period of time.  This post, however, was written in a matter of minutes-- Advocate.  Erin Mason from SCOPE tweeted a question and it turned into this post.


 

You want a kid lit book to work on just about anything? This is the place to find it-- Books That Heal Kids
               


She is connected to the things that matter most-- The Principal's Posts



I wish I wrote like him-- Mountains Out of Molehills

If you are stuck in a rut and need your thinking stretched, this is a place to go--Blogging Through the Fourth Dimension.

If Education is your passion and you think there is such a thing as compassionate leadership then make a habit of checking this blog regularly-- Life of an Educator.

 

I Have Anger Issues With Anger Issues - Part 2: Emotionally Speaking

In the last post I voiced my concern over 'anger issues'.  I believe that it is an over-used catch phrase.  I have found that we expect kids to be able to act a certain way just because someone tells them they should know better.  Or, that a school has rules and students should know right from wrong-- or face the consequences.  Like it just magically happens.

Here is what I think:  Behavior concerns are a lot like Academic concerns.  There is either a skill deficit or something going on with skill fluency.  With academics, we usually provide the supports necessary to remediate and help the student along.  When dealing with behavior which stems from emotions the whole tangled ball is quite a challenge. 

Here is what I try to do to help kids as well as collaborate with Teachers and Parents:

Be Aware
Learn to recognize the signs of your anger.  Anger is an emotional signal that warns something is wrong and needs to be addressed.

Positive Emotional Expression
It is okay to have angry emotions.  Some kids are taught that anger is bad.  That is not true.  It all pivots on the manner in which it is conveyed. Take responsibility for your actions and emotions.  Blaming will not help.  In fact, it will probably escalate the situation.  Use "I" statements to help claim ownership of the situation.  (Here is an example from The Responsive Classroom).

Healthy Strategies
Our students need help with this.  This includes practiced repitition, encouraging feedback, and nuanced refinement. There are some things that sound easy to do- like counting to 10 and taking deep breaths- but are really, really difficult to actually do during the heat of the moment.  These things seem to help some folks, so give it a whirl and see how it works for you.  If those don't seem to help try removing yourself from the situation.  Give yourself a Mantra.  Go do something you enjoy.  Talk to someone you trust.  Draw. Go run in the gym.  Shoot hoops. (I am not a big fan of hitting a pillow, or anything like that.  Instead, squish clay or kneed dough).

There are lots of resources out there which can be of great help to you as you help the young  people in your life.  Explore.  Try new things.  Find what works for you.  Here are a few ideas:  Angry Animals 2 board game, free Feeleez feelings coloring sheets, Managing Your Anger: What's Behind It? poster, Howard B. Wigglebottom animated book, and book reviews by Roxanne at Books That Heal Kids on Anger. What books, games, activities do you like to put to use?  Please share.

One last thing. This is important.  All these strategies and interventions are good. What I think is most essential, though, is to carve out your own thought process/belief system/philosophy that works personally for you in regards to how the process of change occurs.  It is all about taking a situation from where it currently is and helping it evolve to where you aspire to be.  This is a slow, gradual process.  Here is an old post which lays out The Process Of Change for me.  What do you hang your hat on when it comes to Shifting Yourself?

What Is Your Guiding Theory?

I have written a lot about change.  Here, here, and here. 

Change is inevitable.  As the saying goes, don't be a tree that will not let go of its' leaves.  After all, there can be no Spring if we are stuck in Fall. 

Stuff happens, to put it mildly.  James Taylor penned, "The secret to life is enjoying the passage of time." Easy to recognize.  A bit harder to put into daily practice.  What helps you to cope gracefully?  Whether it be a minor inconvenience or a life altering circumstance.  What keeps you forward moving and eyes clear of the rear view mirror?

Since my grad school days, I have been partial to William Glasser and his Reality Theory.  Simply put, it helps me take effective responsibility of my life and maintain an internal locus of control.

It is a nice framework: State what you want. Take the necessary steps to go get it.  If it is not working make a better plan.  Commit to it.  No excuses.  Be fully present, rather than perseverate on the past.  No punishment.  Never give up.   As a Counselor, I find it to be a wonderfully effective process to put into practice with those I meet with for counseling sessions.

It is simple enough, right?  Figure out what you want.  Develop a plan.  Go to it.  Now it is your turn.  Please take a moment to share your guiding principles.

Upon Further Review

My last post was about change.  Upon reflection, what I really meant was growth.  I think.  You see, change for the sake of change is just as unhealthy and tail-chasing as staying-put. So, when I talk about the process of change I suppose what I really mean is the process of growth producing experiences that gain traction, take hold, and evolve 'you' to the next level or the next plateau.  Then the manifestation starts anew.


Whatever we call it --Change or Growth-- it still demands loads of hard work and focused effort.  Day in.  Day out.  Over and over.


This is a topic that I have a great deal of interest in and hope to blog more about in the future.  In the meantime, what do you think?  I am interested in hearing your ideas.

Are You At Your Best?

When I was a counseling student, my professor, Dr. Kahn, presented the process of change to the class by way of an activity.  It went something like this:  Consider how Man/Woman is at his/her Best.   Below are my personal reflections.  Before you read mine you may want to make a list for yourself.

I like to think people are at their Best when they are relaxed, hopeful, optimistic, accepting, aspiring, goal-setting, and forward moving.  Also, when one is self-aware, maintains objectivity and has a developed sense of belonging.  Of course, I am at my best when my sense of humor is intact and there is an easiness to my laughter.  And something else which I have found to be very important, for me, is to be able to tap into creativity and possibility.

Next, he continued, think how Woman/Man is at their Worst.  Again, jot down your own list before reading on.

At their Worst, I find people are anxious, irritable, inflexible, and clenched.  Further, when they posses an external locus of control, are full of duplicity, in a state of chronic dread or apathy, and a naysayer.

To complete the activity,  Dr. Kahn had us ponder Change:  What makes it ripe to occur?  What nudges us in order to allow Change to take place?  What gets you from here to there, from Point A to Point B, from unhappy to happy?

For me, the answer to this is open-mindedness, using trial and error, being diligent, and having perseverance. In addition, I find change is more apt to happen by having a coach or mentor, working/socializing in a collegial atmosphere, as well as surrounding myself with like-minded or open-minded people.  Lastly, of course, there is love.  The ability to feel the love of others and express love to others can move mountains.

How are you at your best?  How are you at your worst or most unbecoming?  What gets you unstuck and how does this happen?  Think about it and let me know how the process of change works for you.
Personal Note:  To this day, Dr. Kahn has a strong pull on how I pursue the Art of Being a Counselor.  He was big on the ABC's of counseling.  I think there is a blog post about this in my future.

A Change of Scenery

I was blogging over at WordPress.  Now I am making the switch to Google Blogger.  I look at it as This Counselor's Journey 2.0.  Hopefully, I'll try it and I will like it. If not, what is the worst that can happen?  I just switch back. 

So, now seems like a good opportunity to re-post my piece on Change. 

Here is an old joke:  How many counselors does it take to replace a light bulb?  One, but the light bulb must really want to change.

Change.  Sometimes it is so confounding. We can be resistant and contrary, holding it at bay with all our might.  Then, at other times, it is welcoming and desired, like a breath of fresh air.

Change.  It can bring out the worst there is to offer-- wracking the body with stress and clouding one’s better judgment and perspective.  Or, it can bring us a restful night of sleep and a sense of abiding peace.

Change.  I plan to write more about this topic.  But, for now, I want to hear from you.  What makes change arduous for you?  What is it that makes it simple for you?

This is my first post to this blog.  I am excited by the opportunity.  As time goes by I hope to write about nurturing confidence, developing coping skills, becoming mindful, and fostering respect, just to list a few.

I will also share lessons learned from the students I have encountered, as well as the many people who have influenced this counselor’s journey.  Occasionally, I will address issues which affect all of us in the school community.  Always  from a counseling perspective.

I am hopeful that I will hear from you, too, and look forward to your comments as I continue along This Counselor's Journey.

In the meantime, good luck changing your light bulbs…