One Family Word

My Family has decided to come up with a Word for us.  We settled on Contagious.  As in-- our mood can rub off to each other in a positive happy-making manner or in a negative grumpy sour type of way.  We are going to make a group effort to be mindful of how our attitude/mood/frame of mind can impact other family members.  Wish us luck and I'll keep you posted.

How about you-- does your family have a word?

Set Your Intentions #5

This is the beginning of a new day.  You have been given this day to use as you will.  You can waste it or use it for good.  What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.  When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind...let it be something good.
-Author Unknown

I Have Anger Issues With Anger Issues - Part 2: Emotionally Speaking

In the last post I voiced my concern over 'anger issues'.  I believe that it is an over-used catch phrase.  I have found that we expect kids to be able to act a certain way just because someone tells them they should know better.  Or, that a school has rules and students should know right from wrong-- or face the consequences.  Like it just magically happens.

Here is what I think:  Behavior concerns are a lot like Academic concerns.  There is either a skill deficit or something going on with skill fluency.  With academics, we usually provide the supports necessary to remediate and help the student along.  When dealing with behavior which stems from emotions the whole tangled ball is quite a challenge. 

Here is what I try to do to help kids as well as collaborate with Teachers and Parents:

Be Aware
Learn to recognize the signs of your anger.  Anger is an emotional signal that warns something is wrong and needs to be addressed.

Positive Emotional Expression
It is okay to have angry emotions.  Some kids are taught that anger is bad.  That is not true.  It all pivots on the manner in which it is conveyed. Take responsibility for your actions and emotions.  Blaming will not help.  In fact, it will probably escalate the situation.  Use "I" statements to help claim ownership of the situation.  (Here is an example from The Responsive Classroom).

Healthy Strategies
Our students need help with this.  This includes practiced repitition, encouraging feedback, and nuanced refinement. There are some things that sound easy to do- like counting to 10 and taking deep breaths- but are really, really difficult to actually do during the heat of the moment.  These things seem to help some folks, so give it a whirl and see how it works for you.  If those don't seem to help try removing yourself from the situation.  Give yourself a Mantra.  Go do something you enjoy.  Talk to someone you trust.  Draw. Go run in the gym.  Shoot hoops. (I am not a big fan of hitting a pillow, or anything like that.  Instead, squish clay or kneed dough).

There are lots of resources out there which can be of great help to you as you help the young  people in your life.  Explore.  Try new things.  Find what works for you.  Here are a few ideas:  Angry Animals 2 board game, free Feeleez feelings coloring sheets, Managing Your Anger: What's Behind It? poster, Howard B. Wigglebottom animated book, and book reviews by Roxanne at Books That Heal Kids on Anger. What books, games, activities do you like to put to use?  Please share.

One last thing. This is important.  All these strategies and interventions are good. What I think is most essential, though, is to carve out your own thought process/belief system/philosophy that works personally for you in regards to how the process of change occurs.  It is all about taking a situation from where it currently is and helping it evolve to where you aspire to be.  This is a slow, gradual process.  Here is an old post which lays out The Process Of Change for me.  What do you hang your hat on when it comes to Shifting Yourself?

Set Your Intentions #4

“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again.  And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”

                                 ~ Pablo Picasso

Set Your Intentions #3

“I've come to the frightening conclusioin that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.” -Dr Haim Ginott


Click here to see Set Your Intentions #1.   And here for Set Your Intentions #2

Would you like this poster?  You can download your own right here.  This came from the latest issue of Teaching Tolerance.

Screen-Free Week April 18-24, 2011

Next week, April 18-24, 2011, is Screen-Free Week. 

Get outside!  The weather is warmer and sunnier.  Daylight is lasting longer.  There are trails to hike, bikes to ride, and seeds to plant.  Even more, there are balls to kick, throw, and catch.  There is tag and hide-and-seek to play.  Still more, there are kites to fly and sandboxes in which to dig.

Or, if you must stay inside, then read a book, play a board game, or draw a picture.  Maybe do a craft, throw a party, or create some fun scrapbook pages.

The link below includes guides, ideas, and resources for Screen-Free Week:
http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/screenfreeweek/index.html

Just turn off that television.  And computer.  And video game.

Need some inspiration?  Now may be a good time to re-read my post about change:  http://thiscounselorsjourney.blogspot.com/2011/01/change-of-scenery.html.  

Or this post about being your best Self:  http://thiscounselorsjourney.blogspot.com/2011/02/are-you-at-your-best.html

 Give it a try.  Let me know how you make out.