What Is Your Guiding Theory?

I have written a lot about change.  Here, here, and here. 

Change is inevitable.  As the saying goes, don't be a tree that will not let go of its' leaves.  After all, there can be no Spring if we are stuck in Fall. 

Stuff happens, to put it mildly.  James Taylor penned, "The secret to life is enjoying the passage of time." Easy to recognize.  A bit harder to put into daily practice.  What helps you to cope gracefully?  Whether it be a minor inconvenience or a life altering circumstance.  What keeps you forward moving and eyes clear of the rear view mirror?

Since my grad school days, I have been partial to William Glasser and his Reality Theory.  Simply put, it helps me take effective responsibility of my life and maintain an internal locus of control.

It is a nice framework: State what you want. Take the necessary steps to go get it.  If it is not working make a better plan.  Commit to it.  No excuses.  Be fully present, rather than perseverate on the past.  No punishment.  Never give up.   As a Counselor, I find it to be a wonderfully effective process to put into practice with those I meet with for counseling sessions.

It is simple enough, right?  Figure out what you want.  Develop a plan.  Go to it.  Now it is your turn.  Please take a moment to share your guiding principles.

Are You At Your Best?

When I was a counseling student, my professor, Dr. Kahn, presented the process of change to the class by way of an activity.  It went something like this:  Consider how Man/Woman is at his/her Best.   Below are my personal reflections.  Before you read mine you may want to make a list for yourself.

I like to think people are at their Best when they are relaxed, hopeful, optimistic, accepting, aspiring, goal-setting, and forward moving.  Also, when one is self-aware, maintains objectivity and has a developed sense of belonging.  Of course, I am at my best when my sense of humor is intact and there is an easiness to my laughter.  And something else which I have found to be very important, for me, is to be able to tap into creativity and possibility.

Next, he continued, think how Woman/Man is at their Worst.  Again, jot down your own list before reading on.

At their Worst, I find people are anxious, irritable, inflexible, and clenched.  Further, when they posses an external locus of control, are full of duplicity, in a state of chronic dread or apathy, and a naysayer.

To complete the activity,  Dr. Kahn had us ponder Change:  What makes it ripe to occur?  What nudges us in order to allow Change to take place?  What gets you from here to there, from Point A to Point B, from unhappy to happy?

For me, the answer to this is open-mindedness, using trial and error, being diligent, and having perseverance. In addition, I find change is more apt to happen by having a coach or mentor, working/socializing in a collegial atmosphere, as well as surrounding myself with like-minded or open-minded people.  Lastly, of course, there is love.  The ability to feel the love of others and express love to others can move mountains.

How are you at your best?  How are you at your worst or most unbecoming?  What gets you unstuck and how does this happen?  Think about it and let me know how the process of change works for you.
Personal Note:  To this day, Dr. Kahn has a strong pull on how I pursue the Art of Being a Counselor.  He was big on the ABC's of counseling.  I think there is a blog post about this in my future.