Flashbacks to Good Grief

I've been devoting some time connecting my dots as a Counselor by reflecting on the path that has taken me to this point.  If you have missed the previous posts here they are-- Flashbacks to a New Counselor and Flashbacks to the Pirate Counselor.

Flashback
Shock and numbness has found its way to you as a consequence of these deaths which have occurred within the school community.  At the same time a hyper-awareness and heightened sensitivity is also present.  The impact of the deaths, the media scrutiny, and high degree of need by the student body/community is overwhelming.

Words to live by to the Rookie Counselor Me: Death and Dying. There is no preparation for this. Not really. You'll read plenty of books on the subject. You will go to workshops about critical incident stress management and attend conferences about suicide and the like.

People are going to die. You will genuinely try to support the people they leave behind. Mostly you need to be there for them. Listen.  Let their voices be heard.  It is important that they feel as if you truly hear their story of grief.

I think you will know what to do by the feel and instinct of the circumstances.  You will need to measure the moment, for this is a sensitive subject.  Every person, every family has their own beliefs on how it should be dealt with and what customs to follow.  Some do so very privately.  Others quite publicly.  Some want support.  Others insulate themselves from it. There is no one way.  No correct way.  Just the personal way; the way that finds you and nestles close to your heart.

All this leads to what this post is really meant to convey--Self Care.  Caring for Yourself is all about You.  And, if you think about it, that is about the last thing a Counselor does day-in and day-out while in the school house.  Self-care is easier to do then you may think and yet harder to realize when you need to do it. 

So, if you are reading this I need your assistance. I would like you to help all our Future Selves. I have created a google document where you may list what works for you.  Consider sharing your passions, that which gives you joy, activities which recharge you or puts you in the Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihaly/Flow).  Anything that helps you care for yourself.

Here is the Google Document: Self-Care for Your Future Self. Thanks for your support and contribution.  I am curious to learn what self-care looks like for you.

Advocate

Here is a recent Tweet from my Twitter friend Dr. Mason:

  Dr. Erin Mason @ecmmason

Most go into #schoolcounseling bc you already see self as advocate. What's one thing u want to advocate for when ur in the field? #CSL521



I have more to write then what the 140-characters Twitter allows.  So, here comes a blog post.  Usually I ponder and percolate with these things. Not with this.  It was kind of there just waiting to be expressed. So, thanks, Dr. Mason.

I segmented this metamorposis into three stages of my own personal development:  1). Reason for entering grad school, 2). Freshly minted mindset of a Graduate, and 3). What I believe at this precise moment.

Reason for entering graduate school
I was disenchanted with what I was doing, coupled with feeling compelled by the desire to have the same impact on kids which I experienced while growing up.  I was fortunate to have many adults willing to take me under their wing, kick me in the rear as was sometimes necessary, and encourage me during my formative years.  They included a coach, a few teachers, and church leaders.

Upon graduation 
It was genuine, but rather vague: Help prepare young people for a future in which they may experience success. That's it.  Not much to go on, I know, but that's it.

Today, this is where I believe my advocacy resides
Intrinsic Motivation - I'd love for kids to do stuff because they want to do it and because it is in their highest interest.
Understanding - I want young people to know about how things --desires, emotions, beliefs-- work, the cause and effect of their thoughts/actions, and what makes their 'self' tick.
Process of Change - Awareness of how changing happens naturally, not forcefully or that which is placed upon you.
Passion - Discover it.  Unleash it.  Wake up each morning to share all that you have to offer.

This is how I want to advocate and will do so for each person who I find myself in their midst to the best of my ability.  Each young person arrives with a unique life story, baggage they carry with them, limited/extensive background knowledge and experiences. Perhaps, what I strive for is to remove the obstacles from their path so as to clear the way for them to grow unencumbered.

Or, maybe, this captures what I am looking for when I now think of advocacy---as Shakespeare so elegantly penned, My heart is ever at your service.

Thanks, Dr. Mason, for nudging me to reflect.  Now it is your turn to comment, #CSL521.  I'd love to hear from you.  Please share your Counselor Mindset at this point in your career!

Flashbacks To A New Counselor

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.”              ~Steve Jobs

I am going to spend the next few posts connecting my dots.  At the same time, I'll give some flashback advice to the old me.  Not sure how this will turn out or if it will be of benefit to you, but I hope it helps the Rookie School Counselor Me.

Flashback
I remember sitting on the floor in my counselor room staring at shelves full of books, games, manuals, and files not knowing where to begin.  In walks my Principal and asked if I was all set to begin the school year.  Internally, I thought, Not so much.  I was overwhelmed. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, You bet!

Think about it.  One day you are a Student and the next day you are the Expert.  Graduated.  Certified. The Works.  Like it or not, that will be your perceived role.  At least, by some it will.

Words to live by to the Rookie Counselor Me: Do not hide from it.  Do not run away from it.  Embrace it.  Unleash your Passion.  Meet it square-on and Believe in your 'self'. 

As Steve Jobs said, "...trust in something-- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever."  Mark your internal compass by that and set sail.  You are Curious.  And Resilient.  A Persistent bugger, too. So roll up those sleeves and have at it.  You will make a Good Noise.