Filter

Filter. 

That is the word I chose to reflect the way I want to live in 2012. 

Why Filter?  Some foods have been giving me wicked headaches and I decided it was high time to be mindful of what I put in my body.  Food-related headaches were wiping me out.

As I pondered this I also decided to Filter what/how I thought and the manner in which I spoke as well.  Sometimes I find myself fretting over that which I have no control.  Other times I found myself wanting to be more mindful with how my words were being received by others. 

Filter seemed to be a good fit for the word I selected to emulate in the the year 2012.

So,  as Fate would have it, just as I began to acquire a comfort level with my blogging voice and used that as a springboard to Twitter and picked Filter as my word for 2012 you will never guess what happened next. I was diagnosed with left vocal fold paralysis.  I literally lost my voice. 

No one wants to hear the word paralysis applied to oneself. 

Not ever.

This got my attention.

On the day of my diagnosis, I came home to find this on my NPR feed:  How My Voice Went Silent.

What a coincidence.  The same day I learn of my left vocal fold paralysis an NPR reporter writes an article about his own diagnosis with it.  Small world. The timeliness of reading his article was uncanny and helped so much to realize I was not the only one to experience such a thing.

Naturally, going though something like this provided the opportunity for me to learn about myself very quickly.  There is no ignoring or putting it off for later.  One thing I learned-- no matter how I try, I do not think I truly appreciate something until I no longer have it.  Everyone is probably like that.  I took my voice for granted-- the sound of it, the laugh, a whisper, a shout, everything...

Another thing I learned, crazy as it seems, is I did not worry over it.  It did not cause me to be afraid.  Nor did I have any anger regarding it. I accepted it from the get-go. That definitely helped me to move forward.

My word for the year is playing a part in my Voice coming back.  I Filtered-out the words and patterns of habit that could be unhealthy and negative and Filtered-in thoughts and beliefs that were positive and healing.  It is definitely an on-going challenge, but one that is making me better.  Isn't that what it is all about? 

What is your word for 2012 and how is it progressing thus far for you?  If you have yet to select your word I encourage you to do so. It could make all the difference.

Make Your Day

Watch this short film, Caine's Arcade.  It will make your day. 

Creativity. (check) Imagination. (check) Passion. (check) Engaging. (check) Charming. (check)

The story of Caine and his arcade has spread like wild fire.  If you have yet to watch this, please do.  It is something to behold. 

To me, Caine is the epitome of the saying, "Do what you like, like what you do."

Enjoy.  I am off to buy a Fun Pass.

Set Your Intentions #6

The sea is dangerous and its storms terrible, but these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore...unlike the mediocre, intrepid spirits seek victory over those things that seem impossible...it is with an iron will that they embark on the most daring of all endeavors...to meet the shadowy future without fear and conquer the unknown.
                                  ~Ferdinand Magellan

Flashbacks to Good Grief

I've been devoting some time connecting my dots as a Counselor by reflecting on the path that has taken me to this point.  If you have missed the previous posts here they are-- Flashbacks to a New Counselor and Flashbacks to the Pirate Counselor.

Flashback
Shock and numbness has found its way to you as a consequence of these deaths which have occurred within the school community.  At the same time a hyper-awareness and heightened sensitivity is also present.  The impact of the deaths, the media scrutiny, and high degree of need by the student body/community is overwhelming.

Words to live by to the Rookie Counselor Me: Death and Dying. There is no preparation for this. Not really. You'll read plenty of books on the subject. You will go to workshops about critical incident stress management and attend conferences about suicide and the like.

People are going to die. You will genuinely try to support the people they leave behind. Mostly you need to be there for them. Listen.  Let their voices be heard.  It is important that they feel as if you truly hear their story of grief.

I think you will know what to do by the feel and instinct of the circumstances.  You will need to measure the moment, for this is a sensitive subject.  Every person, every family has their own beliefs on how it should be dealt with and what customs to follow.  Some do so very privately.  Others quite publicly.  Some want support.  Others insulate themselves from it. There is no one way.  No correct way.  Just the personal way; the way that finds you and nestles close to your heart.

All this leads to what this post is really meant to convey--Self Care.  Caring for Yourself is all about You.  And, if you think about it, that is about the last thing a Counselor does day-in and day-out while in the school house.  Self-care is easier to do then you may think and yet harder to realize when you need to do it. 

So, if you are reading this I need your assistance. I would like you to help all our Future Selves. I have created a google document where you may list what works for you.  Consider sharing your passions, that which gives you joy, activities which recharge you or puts you in the Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihaly/Flow).  Anything that helps you care for yourself.

Here is the Google Document: Self-Care for Your Future Self. Thanks for your support and contribution.  I am curious to learn what self-care looks like for you.

Flashbacks to The Pirate Counselor

The acclaimed director, George Roy Hill gave a dressing-down to Paul Newman for feeling sorry for himself and for believing that he was not worthy of his lot in life.  Mr. Newman lamented that if it were not for luck he'd be a nobody.  Mr. Hill told him, "Some people sit by the window all day and watch Luck pass by."


Opportunity.  Fate.  Luck.

So, really, it is not just luck.  It takes Fate.  The right place at the right time.  Circumstances and Opportunity, too.  And you need to seize the moment.  Otherwise, Luck will just pass right by your window.

Flashback
It is the last day of your first school year as a counselor and a parent drops by your office.  She is about to ask if you know anyone who'd like to be a counselor on a sail boat to work with adjudicated youth. No pressure or anything, but You better do this!

Malcolm Gladwell has a pretty good theory laid out in his book, Outliers, that it takes 10,000 hours to master your craft.  It requires innate talent, to be sure.  But it also requires no small amount of opportunity, luck, and practiced purposeful repetition.  Mr. Gladwell delineates the timeline of Bill Gates and The Beatles as they did their thing hour after hour after hour for years at a time.  It is a story worth reading.

Words to live by to The Rookie Counselor Me:  This seems kind of daunting when you are just beginning. But, if you have found your thing, then you do it because you love it. It will drive you and provide you with profound meaning. It is your little Acorn of Purpose. If it is what you really want to do with your life then it is going to grow and prosper and thrive.

Flashback
You will sail aboard the Francis Crow, namesake for the Englishman who, in 1818, patented the first liquid mariner compass. She's a 40-foot schooner of tight and limited space for 8 kids, a Captain, and a First Mate.  (These camps sailed the Chesapeake Bay for week-long excursions.) You will help them learn responsibility, respect, manners, cooperation and teamwork, and on and on.  These kids will swab the decks, cook in the galley, clean the head, practice seamanship, and try not to wring each others' neck.  There will be boys and girls from age 8 to 17.  It will be quite the challenge.

I could not have asked for a more organic setting to work on group dynamics and individual behaviors of real concern (BORC).  Crammming 11 people in a small space with blazing sun one day and driving rain the next creates a canvas of plentiful drama for a counselor to practice his craft.

This was an invaluable and mighty learning experience for me.  I plowed through a lot of those 10,000 hours needed to become versatile in my craft.  (During the Summer, 6 days a week, for 5 years). It was fun.  It did not feel like 'work'.  It required a high degree of concentrated focus, a receptive openness to be in the moment and fully present, and nurturing engagement with these kids from culturally eccletic experiences. 

It took Luck. 

Do not let Luck pass by your window. 

Advocate

Here is a recent Tweet from my Twitter friend Dr. Mason:

  Dr. Erin Mason @ecmmason

Most go into #schoolcounseling bc you already see self as advocate. What's one thing u want to advocate for when ur in the field? #CSL521



I have more to write then what the 140-characters Twitter allows.  So, here comes a blog post.  Usually I ponder and percolate with these things. Not with this.  It was kind of there just waiting to be expressed. So, thanks, Dr. Mason.

I segmented this metamorposis into three stages of my own personal development:  1). Reason for entering grad school, 2). Freshly minted mindset of a Graduate, and 3). What I believe at this precise moment.

Reason for entering graduate school
I was disenchanted with what I was doing, coupled with feeling compelled by the desire to have the same impact on kids which I experienced while growing up.  I was fortunate to have many adults willing to take me under their wing, kick me in the rear as was sometimes necessary, and encourage me during my formative years.  They included a coach, a few teachers, and church leaders.

Upon graduation 
It was genuine, but rather vague: Help prepare young people for a future in which they may experience success. That's it.  Not much to go on, I know, but that's it.

Today, this is where I believe my advocacy resides
Intrinsic Motivation - I'd love for kids to do stuff because they want to do it and because it is in their highest interest.
Understanding - I want young people to know about how things --desires, emotions, beliefs-- work, the cause and effect of their thoughts/actions, and what makes their 'self' tick.
Process of Change - Awareness of how changing happens naturally, not forcefully or that which is placed upon you.
Passion - Discover it.  Unleash it.  Wake up each morning to share all that you have to offer.

This is how I want to advocate and will do so for each person who I find myself in their midst to the best of my ability.  Each young person arrives with a unique life story, baggage they carry with them, limited/extensive background knowledge and experiences. Perhaps, what I strive for is to remove the obstacles from their path so as to clear the way for them to grow unencumbered.

Or, maybe, this captures what I am looking for when I now think of advocacy---as Shakespeare so elegantly penned, My heart is ever at your service.

Thanks, Dr. Mason, for nudging me to reflect.  Now it is your turn to comment, #CSL521.  I'd love to hear from you.  Please share your Counselor Mindset at this point in your career!

Flashbacks To A New Counselor

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.”              ~Steve Jobs

I am going to spend the next few posts connecting my dots.  At the same time, I'll give some flashback advice to the old me.  Not sure how this will turn out or if it will be of benefit to you, but I hope it helps the Rookie School Counselor Me.

Flashback
I remember sitting on the floor in my counselor room staring at shelves full of books, games, manuals, and files not knowing where to begin.  In walks my Principal and asked if I was all set to begin the school year.  Internally, I thought, Not so much.  I was overwhelmed. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, You bet!

Think about it.  One day you are a Student and the next day you are the Expert.  Graduated.  Certified. The Works.  Like it or not, that will be your perceived role.  At least, by some it will.

Words to live by to the Rookie Counselor Me: Do not hide from it.  Do not run away from it.  Embrace it.  Unleash your Passion.  Meet it square-on and Believe in your 'self'. 

As Steve Jobs said, "...trust in something-- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever."  Mark your internal compass by that and set sail.  You are Curious.  And Resilient.  A Persistent bugger, too. So roll up those sleeves and have at it.  You will make a Good Noise.